jamaica journal

자메이카 생활


2006.04.08 02:29
기본폴더
sidharthur
http://kr.blog.yahoo.com/sidharthur/1
now, monday april 3, black river town, an internet cafe
(9시43분, 토요일, 2006년 4월 1일 ?9:43am, Saturday, April 1, 2006 ?South Field Library, St. Elizabeth Parish, Jamaica, West Indies)
제마이마 할머니 그리고 집뒤에 무서운언덕 굴



JEMIMA and the BEANSTALK or The mystery of the marl hole cave or The FOOLBOY that cut down me chocho, kill me rooster, broke me window?/SPAN>

This is just a collection of journal entries and musings that are in no particular order. They are things, for a little while now, that I have wanted to put down on paper or the internet anyway. (I can SEE, from my grandmother뭩 house veranda, Great Bay, the open sea, the sun when it sets뾵ith the silhouette of her sour sap tree in the foreground-- and the wide open sky. Yet I am not fully satisfied. What more can I want?)



아름다운 별자리다

I woke up last night or rather early this morning before sunrise (around 4:30am). I had fallen asleep with the light on. If my grandmother knew she would not be happy at all. I had a very weird dream where I was being chased (by my friend from Canada?st1:City w:st="on">Nancy뾵e met in Seoul)뾱he had extraordinary witch-like powers.

I went outside to behold the night sky. The Pegasus constellation had did an almost complete 180 degree turn around the pole. I have yet to have seen Polaris though. Pegasus looks like a 밷ig dipper? So I wonder if it isn뭪 the big dipper. Orion was no where to be seen. I usually see it (and the part of the Milky Way it뾥e?--inhabits) not long after sundown before it disappears into the western horizon. This has been happening faster with the onset of spring.

The stars are always lovely. But tonight was extra special. I believe I was looking at the center of our spiral galaxy. It looked like a long fuzzy cloud in a shape of an eye뾩ike the eye of Soron in the Lord of the Rings. There were stars that I had never seen before. I saw at least five meteorites--shooting stars. I made wishes. The insects, lizards and whatever else seemed to be at the height of their full symphonic glory. The cats were running around like maniacs.

There was a solar eclipse on Thursday. But it could only been seen in certain places in Brazil, Turkey and Northern Africa. I뭭e found out that there will be a 뱈eteor?shower from the break up of comet in May. I뭭e been slowly learning about the constellations with star charts on the internet뾍imalee, my sister, has sent me a nice pamphlet on the subject.)

I thought to myself as I gazed up into the heavens that the origins the creation story must have it뭩 roots in stellar events. The morning star is named for Lucifer뾲he bringer of the light뾬r that which heralds the coming of 뱓he?greatest star in the sky뾬ur sun뾵orshipped as God by many ancient cultures. I can imagine that someone had witnessed a cosmic explosion (possibly during the day) and interpreted as a war between good and evil in heaven. I suppose an explanation like this is written in some anthropology book somewhere.





제마이마 이모님

My grandmother seems to be well-loved in general by everyone around her뾯elatives and friends alike. Everyone calls her Auntie Jem (or Gem). Her name is Jemima Blackwood. Hahahah yes just like the pancake syrup brand. If you can remember the joke?U>Ain뭪 ya Mama on the pancake box?U>Aunt Jemima. (She said her mother had named her Susan. But she, never liking the name, changed it.)

This morning, two children (Shawna Kaye and Tunde뾲he former, a girl and the latter, a boy) that live down the hill, had come to look for neeseberry (spelling?뾲he fruit looks like a qiwi but it뭩 really sweet뾫ot tart. They can get as big as my fist. They will gum up your works if you eat them too early. The sap is very sticky. It뭩 thick and yellowish.

She always gives crackers any children that come to the house. But she told them to get from under the tree. They wouldn뭪 listen. I was in the outhouse at the time뾱moking the wasps out while뾞hem뾡oing what I had to do.





시골생활이 신기다

The mangos are really coming in big time. Many of them fall off before they fully mature뾋 used to get sad seeing them on the red dirt뾟ut I have lately taken to using the machete like a cricket bat on them.

My granny has a concrete water tank (six feet high) that collects rainwater from gutter fixed to the back lower side of her roof. She could get a line hooked up from the road뾲here is a reservoir. But I am glad she has the tank (along with a smaller plastic tank and barrel drum). Her neighbor뾏r. White뾦s always complaining that someone cut his pipe뾲o steal water or out of spite.

The reinforced-cement house (a zinc-roofed one-storey cottage with two bedrooms, a dining room, a kitchen space and an outside veranda/patio) has an indoor toilet. We only use it at night. During the day we use the outhouse. She makes fun of me for wastefully wrapping wads of toilet paper around my hand before going to use it. She said I used to do the same thing as a boy. The plant, insect and reptile life is intense out here. Lizards, ants, giant roaches, field mice and more constantly come and go through the house. There뭩 no running water. We have to carry water in pails into the house to bath and drink. We have a gas stove in the house kitchen. She uses it mostly to boil water for tea or to make porridge in the morning. Grandma does her main cooking with wood in the outside kitchen. She can only use Dutch pots made from iron on the iron prongs.

I tried to use a stainless steel pot once to make rice. It only became blackened with soot and never got hot enough to actually boil the rice. Grandma had been pissed, until I cleaned it off.





할모니 의 속담

My grandmother is always telling me what and what not to do. It뭩 very annoying, but I know she means well. I also know that in many, if not almost all cases, her advice is quite sound.

The Jamaican proverbs (or just plain admonishments) I have heard my grandmother say so far are:

1. You can뭪 plant peas and expect corn.

2. Hide your things.

3. [It is a] scornful dog [that] eat[s] dirty pudding.

4. Get up and make up your bed (6am).

5. [It뭩] no use [to] eat all today and famine tomorrow.

6. They can make [a] man. But they can뭪 breathe breath or make blood.

7. Get up and make up your bed (7am).

8. If you feed them (the cats) too much, [then] they won뭪 mouse.

9. 밪tudyration?is better than education.

10. Get up and make up your bed (8am).

11. Go and take your bath like a good boy (6pm).

12. Go to bed. Turn off the lights. And go to sleep! (This is mostly annoying on Friday nights. But she tells me this every night around 7pm. God! I miss going out to dance salsa! If I were in a touristy area that would not be a problem.)

-----------There뭩 more, but I don뭪 remember them all--------------





생활의 변하는 것

A lot has changed since the last time I visited Jamaica over ten years ago. There뭩 more crime. There are more people. My grandmother has iron bars over the all of her windows on the inside of the house. It reminds me of my time in the immigration detention center in Yeosu City, Chollanamdo in South Korea. I guess that all the fighting I did for better facilities has come true here. I am still imprisoned. But it is my grandmother that keeps me in more than the bars.

I keep thinking that I could have easily walked away from the police. I definitely didn뭪 have to stay for four months in immigration. I could have gone to Japan or China. But perhaps somewhere deep inside I wanted to come back to see family that I hadn뭪 seen in 2004. My other grandmother had died then.

My mother and other family want me to stay to help. My grandmother is still strong and independent. But she is not well. She has diabetic, arthritis pain and mental health issues for which she takes medication. Someone in the family has to help her. She is surrounded by tons of family. My mother and one of her nieces asked her to move in with them. But she prefers to live in her own house. She says that as long as she can move around on her own뾱he can live on her own.

She still gets a small pension from England. She said that she worked there for five years. If she hadn뭪 fallen ill, she would have stayed longer. Some of her other family have more money because they were able to.

It looks like the ball is in my court concerning being with her on the daily. Jesus! I definitely didn뭪 think I came here to live permanently. (Yes. I know. What뭩 permanent?) But everyone뭩 asking me to.

I do have fantasies of building wind turbines and solar powered generators ?even a machine to generate electricity from plants뾲here are microbes that are being harvested to produce hydrogen; creating a learning center with all the latest AV equipment; and doing hydroponic gardening alongside making a pond for fish. But I would need to be here for a while to do that. It뭩 so strange. When I was younger I had always dreamed of living on my own land while growing my own food. Now that I have the chance뾋 just want to run away.

I had been thinking that if I joined the military, then I could just send money back home. Then my mother and other family could spend more time with my grandmother and not worry so much about financial matters. My mother has a house in Miami thanks to my sister. So far, I have done squat to help out. When I first left New York to go to Korea in 1998, I had nothing. AND now that I am back I still have nothing뾦n the in bank; I am seven years older; unmarried; and, most painfully, lack the four-year college degree뾲hat would have more than come in handy during my time abroad. I am not eligible for government scholarships or loans because never signed for selective service뾟ack when I was protesting the first Gulf War. How f-ing ironic뾥ahaahah뾋 find myself considering actually joining the military for that same money. The funny thing is even if I had signed up for selective service뾡idn뭪 mean that I had to join the military.

Oh well, I do have a Korean language skill set (with working knowledge of Japanese and Chinese). I want to continue my studies. But where do I go from here? When I look at the stars, I wonder if there is such a thing as fate뾡estiny. Can the planets, stars, sun and moon alter their preordained orbits? Yes and no, I guess, scientifically speaking, Orbits are changing, but humans don뭪 live long enough to watch it all unfold. I mean everything goes in cycles뾟irth, death, rebirth. Am I trapped in some unalterable orbit of life? (But we humans are changing the very weather. I should be able to put my life on a different course. But have I reached a point of no return?)

I guess I should count my blessings. I am lucky to still have my one grandmother. I am lucky to be alive. I keep hearing, on the BBC world service, the news of people suffering dying in Iraq뾲he Iraqi people and the soldiers. Jesus! I just want to travel, explore, study and enjoy getting to know this amazing world.





맛있고 단 ?/FONT>사과
?바나나다

This morning my grandmother gave me two of the bananas that had ripened. They were short and thick, and almost tasted like apples. We told me cut down the rest of the remaining bananas뾲aking off the whole stalk. Then I cut down the tree (technically a bush or plant뾲here뭩 no wood). Grandma says they only bear once. So it뭩 best to cut them down. I guess it뭩 to give the younger shoots a better chance to come up.





굴에귀신사는가? There뭩 a cave in the rocky marl (limestone?) hill behind my grandmother뭩 house in the bush. A couple of months ago, I had cut a path to the mouth and went inside to take out some of the stones. I was told many times not to go inside. It seems that 30 odd years ago a man뾵ho went inside with a friend to excavate the marl for building material뾵as crushed to death by a cave-in. I remember the story from when I was a boy뾵hen I had come before to visit my grandmother. The temptation was too great. I guess I still have some fire left in my belly. It was great workout. But I ended up just packing the stones around the two coconut trees behind the house. I had thought I would use them to make a border for plastic greenhouse I wanted to make.





Anyway, here뭩 little bit about some the people around here:



1. 과일을 훔치는 아이.There is Tunde, an eight-year-old (or seven) boy that lives down the hill. His mother died from injuries sustained after being hit by a car. I thought he was a nice boy the first time I had seen him. Then I saw him start a fight. Plus he kept taking my Grandmother뭩 oranges without asking.



2. 가난한난한 농부. Tunde뭩 father, Collin (or Seem ?as my Grandmother), who seems to be an all-around short stocky burly dark chocolate skinned handyman; he does sharecropping on my extended family뭩 land뾦n a system called 뱓rusting out뵕where a person works the land and gives a certain amount of what is grown to the owner. When I first met him he was very friendly and talkative. But I slowly began to realize that every time he stopped by to chat뾲o school about Jamaican country life, he ended up walking away with something뾪y grandmother뭩 oranges, a piece of coconut, box of matches, and the like. (He almost walked off with an extra door that I foolishly had left outside뾩uckily my mother told me to put it back. It was in my grandmother뭩 room. But, because of rainwater that flooded into the house, she had it taken down and the doorway walled off.)

The coconut had been the last straw for me. I never fight over food but boy was I pissed. He had actually come over to ask my Grandmother for a plastic bag for a bunch of spring onions (scallions) he had with him. But also asked for a scale which he complained didn뭪 work properly. I wasn뭪 pissed about having to share the coconut. I was pissed that he seemed to come out nowhere뾣rom around the southern corner of the house and immediately asked for a piece. This was right in the middle of my grandmother and I having a conversation about whether or not to break open the coconut to use for the rice and peas or just to eat plain. He doesn뭪 come around as much. On that day I had practically growled at him to get his own scale if he didn뭪 like my grandmother뭩 own. AND the day when I told him he couldn뭪 have the door. He was sent by my cousin who had asked for it. My mom told me this very cousin had stoned after they had some argument over my sister뭩 son fighting with my cousin뭩 son. So, naturally I couldn뭪 give up the door. YES, Jamaicans are f-ing BIBLICAL. They stone MO-FOs out here if you come out your face.



3. 너무많이 말하고 있는 할아보지. Mr. White (Claudius), the old man next door, seemed to be a very nice grey-haired thin grandfatherly figure. But he talks WAY too much. He used to come over a lot to tell us the latest news (usually the most recent gruesome murder/robbery), shoot the breeze, unload his pet peeves, tell tales of his life in England, relay old proverbs, dispense advice, and so on. But on two occasions when I commented on his smoking, he was quite offended. In fact, every time I said something he disagreed (or simply questioned the veracity of something he said or that I couldn뭪 understand) with he became quite bothered. He would even get up and leave. Now, He doesn뭪 talk to me anymore. When he does come over, it뭩 to see Grandma. But even Grandma, in low whispery voice, tells me he talks too much. He lives alone. So I guess he뭩 really lonely. Apparently he has a wife, but she lives separately in Manchester. They have children who have visited him from time to time. I feel sorry for him. He is a nice man, but obviously has a side to him that pushes people away. Someone or some people keep cutting water pipe. I guess he뭩 pissed someone off. (Maybe one of them is Redson뾞 guy who had managed to get 4,000 Jamaican dollars out of me뾟ecause I was lost when I first came back her last year. He helped me to find my grandmother뭩 house. He had even wanted to walk off with the sandals on my very feet.)

Mr. White should have built a water tank before he built his house. This area is especially thirsty for water during the dry season뾞 kind of winter in Jamaica. He said no one ever told me. I think it was more like he didn뭪 listen.



4. 배고픈 아이들. Carla뭩 boy or boys (Three or Four boys from ages 5 to 11). What can I say about these poor children? I don뭪 even know there proper names. The other children call them: Chuckie and 멷m brother[s]. They live with their mother and the father (Paulo) of the smallest boy, in a small not very nice house towards the land and path going up north. They all seem to have different fathers. Up until I called the time when I called the police to complain about them, they used to always come over to ask Grandma for food. They have absolutely almost no manners. They would always demand more than what she gave them. I had once given the oldest boy a whole loaf of bread. Boy was that big a mistake. He simply came back expecting more. They are not starving. I have sometimes tried to chase them away with a stick to no avail. They simply run, BAREFOOT, circles around me and the house. (I got a nasty cut on my right foot bottom once trying to chase them off the land.) I have seen them in the day on many occasions when they should be in school. The police officer said that if they got involved, they would have to take the children away from their mother. They would become wards of the state until their 21st birthdays. I decided, after hearing that, not to ask the police to come. (Yesterday뾲oday is Monday. I am in black river town now at an internet caf? I came with my grandmother. She뭩 at the bank. She practically left me in the house. I had to catch her on the road.뾃NYWAY, yesterday the oldest boy came again and asked for 500 dollars뾞bout 8 to 10 dollars in US currency. I don뭪 know why, but I gave it to him뾞fter a long lecture on why he shouldn뭪 beg. I told him that if he went to the police, they would put him in a better home. He said he didn뭪 want that.)



5. SEEING IS WANTING. 견물생심. 見物生心. My older cousin, Chris Turner, once told me that he used the leaves of the library books he had borrowed in place of toilet paper. The next day he asked me to loan him one of the Time magazines I had borrowed from the Southfield Library. I almost laughed at him. But simply said no way. He seemed shocked and walked way. But the next day or so, he asked again. I had to look him dead in the eye and say no. Then I kindly explained to him that I had to be responsible for them. I said that it would be different if they were my own. (But I wondered to myself if I would loan him my own books.) Egads! I felt bad about it. He is my cousin, BUT꿌t seems that you must hide your things if you don뭪 want people to ask you to 밷orrow?them.



6. Trouble in Paradise. 지상 낙원에 곤란을겪다. My Aunt Neese and Uncle Lea seemed like the perfect elderly couple at first. They have a wonderful house뾲hat뭩 too big for the two of them. All of their children have grown up and have children of their own뾩iving in the UK and Canada. Aunt Neese always looks out for my grandmother뾠hecking on her at least once a week. Grandma says she뭩 the one she can count on the most. As time has passed I keep witnessing my aunt and uncle having arguments. Last week, I was bitten by one of their dogs that had recently had puppies. Uncle Lea, an 80 year old man or so, actually hit Aunt Neese뾦t was slap on the shoulder뾣or 뱇etting?the dog bite me.



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